Western Caribbean Paradise:Girl’s Trip 2018



Last week I had the pleasure of cruising to Conzumel, Belize, and Honduras. I’m still an infant in traveling.  I’ve been to the Bahamas, Cabo, Puerto Vallarta, and France. I didn’t begin traveling out of the country until around 2015. It started as a result of my daughter wanting to travel instead of having a grad party.

After just one cruise I had the bug. After seeing the movie Girls Trip my best friend planned our own PG version. On March 4th we sailed out of Galveston which was great for me since I’m up north in DFW. All of our saving and planning was coming together.  As soon as we stepped upon the Carnival Breeze we went into party mode, smiles and laughter followed us onboard.

We checked out the room and hit the BBQ spot. The pulled pork and Mac n cheese wasn’t bad.  We sat and talked under the sun for a while and then we started our own tour of the boat. It was set up like past cruise ships; lido deck with food and a pool, casino, dance clubs, a comedy club,the Ovation Theatre and a huge water slide that  opened into another pool. We treked to the very top deck and felt the powerful breeze. A feeling of warmth came over me. I knew we were gonna have a wonderful time.

If I told you everything we did, this blog would turn into a thesis. Let’s just say this. We danced, sang karaoke, ate all day long, visited private beaches, zip lined, we took a cave  tube tour, we slept in( well I did), attended a foodie tour, shopped and make great memories while feasting our eyes on overwhelming beauty.

I am gonna attach some pictures that will tell most of the story. Not only did we experience everything Cozumel, Belize, and Honduras had to offer, we bonded as six powerful, intelligent, talented, beautiful women. Four of us stayed in a room and the other two shared a cabin. We had no drama, no arguing, we respected each other’s space and personal items. We looked out for each other.

No matter what activities we did alone or in cliques of two, we came together every night for a fine dining meal. We had a ball with the restaurant staff, and each other. We learned our food likes and dislikes. Some of us tried foods we never had before and will never try again( lol).

We prayed together, laughed together, danced and sang together. I truly love these ladies and my best friend for planning the trip. We came up with a name for our crew. Two of us are 40, and two of us are 41. So we are #4041. We are already encouraging each other as we return to work and school. And pretty soon we will plan another great adventure.

I have so much gratitude to be able to travel, to have the freedom to go where I choose. And thankful to have sisters who will listen to me, tell me when I am right, or totally wrong. So now we shall prepare for Girls Trip 2019.

* And hell no, I was not paying $246 for the carnival Picts. Those watermarks are just fine.*




I am so happy and proud of the relationship that I have with my daughters; Brittany and Ana. Brittany and I instantly bonded when she was small but Ana was always with my Uncle and Aunt all of the time. Nana had her when she wasn’t at Auntie and Uncle Sonny’s. We later came together and she learned to trust me at around age 2.

            As the girls grew up and into their teen years, my favorite thing about our time together was laying across their bed and just talking to them about their day, Ana’s sports and Brit’s band stuff. When Brit left  for college Ana and I grew closer and really bonded. She was very popular in high school so she would put together cute outfits and I enjoyed doing her hair in cute styles as she talked to me about the thirsty boys who liked her.
              Now that my girls are adults…well Grown-ish, it’s so much fun to talk to them and go back and forth about politics music and pop culture. I so love our connection of love and honesty and they are both blatantly honest. Over the years I have learned to be honest with them because parents lie a LOT.  When we talk on our conference calls we spent so much time laughing and debating that it became a Sunday ritual for a while, but then they got busy. We still stay in contact through text and when I am annoying they ignore me. They agree that I do too much. For instance Ana told me to write a paragraph and I am on my third or fourth one.
              To sum up the relationship I have with my girls I would say I have homies for life. I have someone I can vent to and  they can vent to me. I also love the closeness that the girls share and I hope I had something to do with that. Ana is understanding to my needs and that is why anything I have or can do for her it’s done. Brittany is my boss and helps me make decisions that are hard, she keeps me in check. So I always encourage her and build her self- esteem.
            I love my girlies with all of my heart. I kind of feel like we are pieces of a beautiful mosaic set of tiles wound together through unconditional love.





I was finally able to carve out some time to watch Spike Lee’s Netflix series She’s Gotta Have It. I am old enough to remember hearing about the movie when it came out back in the late 80’s. I was only 9 years old and didn’t see the movie for myself until I was in my twenties.

It started out as many of Spike’s movies have in the past with wonderful camera angles and cinematography. The setting is New York City; Brooklyn to be exact. Nola Darling is the main character just as she was in the film.  She is dating three men; Mars Blackmon who is young and keeps her laughing and sexing like crazy. However he is immature and lives with his sister in the projects. She  has Greer Childs a narcissist model who thinks he is God’s gift to women and to Nola. He makes love to her with patience and passion. And lastly Jamie Overstreet; the married businessman who is loaded and showers Nola with gifts and lives to eat her for dessert. She needs these men in her life for various reasons. They equal one man; each fulfilling her wants and desires. She has no intention to commit and of course the men don’t like that at all.

Instead of giving a review of the series I just want to give my opinion on  the overall theme.  I don’t want to give away the entire series for those who haven’t had to chance to binge. She’s Gotta Have It is about women being able to be sexually free and not being labeled as a whore or thot.  Are we not able to have sex and enjoy it just as much as men? What about us having side dudes as men have side chicks? Is it unimaginable to think that women want to have a full life and be able to choose what kind of cake we like, eat the hell out of it and have ice cream along with the cake?

The thought of having many husbands has crossed my mind many times. I have been married most of my life and the idea of marriage has always been important to me. My husband is cool and laid back for the most part.  He is a great guy but he doesn’t share my passion for life or music. What if I had another man who loved going dancing the way I enjoy it? Or what if I could have a boyfriend who would listen to music all night long and break it down to its purest forms? At some point that guy might get on my nerves and be too deep and I might want a hunk who picks me up and takes me from place to place in his arms. He opens doors and takes his shirt off at my request. He would be my Greer there for his looks and brawn not so much his mind. The passionate guy could be a poet and love spontaneous vacations, picnics, and naked games of tag.

Then I would have my #1 the one who is my opposite; balanced and controlled. In a perfect world that would be accepted and my husband would be on board. I mentioned this to him and his response, ” HELL NO RHASHA.” I am a realist in terms of relationships. People change, their wants and needs change,  what we want at 20 is different at 30 and even 50. I guess I can continue to live my life through Nola. Something about her is freeing and exciting. She is not perfect and has her flaws and insecurities. She is irresponsible as hell and makes excuses instead of owning her shit.

Season two of SGTHI threatens to be just as bold as season 1. What happened after the Thanksgiving dinner where all of the men became acquainted with each other?  Are they merely pieces of meat to Nola and there to fill her sexual appetite? Will they ever stop singing Prince’s Greatest Hits? For me I am here for every minute of the series. I gotta have more!




The month of November reminds me to focus on being grateful. We have Thanksgiving, which I choose to celebrate even though history tells us that the pilgrims took the Native American traditions and stole their land. That is a fact that I push out of my mind as I enjoy family, friends and good food. In tribute of the holiday I wanted to give gratitude throughout the month. It’s been said that gratitude and depression can’t live in the same place and I tend to believe this.

I am thankful for my home which provides me with shelter and a place of peace. As I travel daily I see homeless people sleeping on sidewalks, in libraries and train stations and I know that if not for the grace of God that could be me. I’ve been blessed with a 4 bedroom home with a fireplace and a great eat in kitchen. There is natural light everywhere and on a sunny day my living room is a safe haven.

I am thankful to be back in school getting my Social Work degree. In high school I hated math and science and always loved English and writing.  I have the pleasure of taking a Sociology class and a Social Problems course which both focus on writing and content that interest me. I’m also grateful that paying for college is not a hassle.  It’s affordable and my administrators work with my income to allow monthly payments. When I think about it, I know there are women in certain countries where obtaining your education is not allowed.

Lastly I have gratitude for my family and friends. I have the best bunch of homies a girl could want.  I have peer groups who help me with mental illness and anxiety. I have family members who forgive me over and over when I make mistakes. My close friends are honest with me and don’t let me sell myself short or get away with BS. Even my social media friends are a ray of light for me. Without these people I would be lost in my own head and it’s scary in there.

There are so many things I am grateful for and I  remind myself of them not only in November but the other eleven months of the year. Oh by the way, thank you for reading this. I am grateful for you too.


Marshall *spoiler alert*

Last Thursday I went to see the movie Marshall. It’s a movie celebrating the first black Supreme Court Justice , Thurgood Marshall. I was thinking this would be a biopic detailing his life from childhood, rise to fame and the struggles he faced. Boy was I wrong!

The movie was actually about a case that Marshall (played by Chadwick Boseman) took on as part of the NAACP. There was a man named Joseph Spell( Sterling K. Brown) who was being accused of the rape and the attempted murder of a white woman. The narrative was that Spell raped her in her home multiple times while her husband was away. He then took her to a bridge and threw her into a reservoir.

The incident happened in the northern town of Greenwich, Connecticut. Marshall traveled from New York City, the headquarters of the NAACP to this little town because he believed Spell was innocent. When he made it to the small town he realized he would need some help, and that help would come from a Jewish insurance attorney.

Samuel Friedman( Josh Gad) was hired by the Bridgeport NAACP. Like most white people in the area, he thought Spell was guilty. The area was certainly not known for hospitality to black people. Friedman tried to get out of the case three different times but something in his character caused him to help Marshall and he became co-counsel. It was a good thing they were both on the case because getting past Loren Willis( Dan Stevens) an unreconstructed bigot would be close to impossible. It didn’t help that there were two attorneys; a black man and a Jew.

The other obstacle was that the victim Eleanor Strubing ( Kate Hudson) came from old money. She was the daughter of an investment banker. Her husband John Strubing Jr( Jeremy Bobb) an ambulance driver in WWI he also played for The Tigers football team. After being married for a while Strubing became a business man and he and his wife lived a charmed life. This lifestyle is how Spell came into their lives; he was their chauffeur.

Marshall and Friedman never really believed Eleanor’s story. She claimed she was raped four different times. She was kidnapped from her home, thrown off a bridge and then hit with rocks. At trial they quickly pounced on the prosecution’s case. Why would anyone rape a woman in her home when her husband could have come home at any moment? Why leave the house and drop her off of a bridge on the side where she could swim to shore? Why not drop her where the jagged rocks were located? And the story about the rocks was just ridiculous, not to mention there were no rocks on that bridge; only pebbles.

It came out at trial that her story was a complete farce. But she wasn’t the only one who lied. Spell said he never touched her but it was proven in court that the pair had consensual sex. Eleanor’s husband was always away on business and when he was home he often abused his wife. The night that Joseph came into her room to ask for money she had been drinking and invited him into her bed. They shared a night of passion but soon Mrs. Strubing became nervous.

The alcohol and paranoia got to her. She begged Spell to drive her away from the house. Then as they drove she asked him to pull over. He assured her that everything was fine and they wouldn’t get caught. In complete hysterics she screamed out rape. She jumped from the bridge into the Kensico Reservoir. It was revealed in court that she was a trained swimmer. She swam to shore, flagged a truck driver and started this whole tragedy with her cries of rape.

Thurgood Marshall and Friedman taking this case was like taking on the stories that black men are so scary and threatening, hell bent on raping poor white women. This made me think of how often that happens in today’s court systems. Our men are seen as brutal and menacing when in fact, there are rapists and murderers of all races.

Marshall and Friedman’s hard work was successful in gaining Spell an acquittal. The result catapulted the NAACP to start a chapter in Greenwich. Thurgood Marshall was in Oklahoma helping another client when the jury came back. He didn’t even have time to celebrate due to his full schedule.

For those of you who don’t know much about Thurgood Marshall. He was instrumental in The Brown vs The Board of Education desegregation case. He was the first black Supreme Court Justice from 1967-1991. And was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom and the Spingarn Medal.

It was great seeing Chadwick Boseman in this role. He is fast becoming the go-to actor for biopics. A surprise was Josh Gad in the role of attorney Friedman. I am familiar with him in many comedic roles but he played this serious character and exceeded my expectations. He was excellent in this role and has me excited to see him in more dramatic pieces. Marshall is a movie I look forward to buying. I give it 4 stars.