What about your Friends?

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My husband and I are as different as night and day. I am loud, talkative, and thrive in social settings. He is laid back, quiet, and prefers staying home and watching a movie. Our recent job changes led us to Dallas,Texas. It was a transition leaving six children in the Midwest away at school.

When I finally got over the separation anxiety, I was ready to learn the city, enjoy the food, and of course make friends. My husband says friend will come and it takes years to trust people.  I say everyone you meet is a potential friend.  I started my search close to home at my apartment complex. Most of the people are standoffish and stay to them selves. Still every morning I wave Good Morning, have a great day.  

The next opportunity is work -the YWCA. There are many friendly ladies. I quickly made friends with a young Hispanic lady who has a young son. We are both from the Midwest and new to Texas. I got excited and wanted to invite her over for dinner after a few weeks. “Just wait until we have the house together,baby. Plus let’s spend some time together just you and I.” Hubby is always confused as to my need for friends.

We started frequenting a local karaoke bar. I sang with the Irving crowd while Hub downed beer and wings. After going a few weeks in a row, we made some friends Marvin and Todd. It was cool to have a clique( queue Bug Sean & Jay). Especially since all of the people I invite bail on me.

So hubby just comes out and asks, why do you need friends?  You have me, I’m your ride or die. Thus the need for this blog. What a loaded question. It’s not that I need friends. I need to be social. I am an only child. Although I have siblings from my Dad’s side, I was raised by a single mother as an only child. I loved when people came over or I went to their house. I also love hosting people,serving food and drinks.

I enjoy interaction,conversation, learning about people. I love to know how people were raised, learn about other cultures, and I’ve had a blast meeting people while traveling to other countries.

When we first arrived to Dallas I thought we would never fit in. But this week we found an awesome crew. We rekindled a relationship with some old friends, found a few new couples. Hubba is even cool with the idea of going out weekly, and open to making friends at 38.

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Famous Amos

image                                                                               On the way to school, on the way to church, on Saturdays as we cleaned up. Power 105  WTLC was always blasting. I remember Jay Johnson, Tony Lamont, Geno Shelton and Amos Brown. These were the men whose voices got my attention. I remember wondering what Mr. Amos Brown looked like.

Continue reading “Famous Amos”

12 Years a Black Woman

image                                                               Rachel Dolezal’s name has been all over the media. She is the Caucasian( yes woman you are white) lady who had been passing as black. Yes there is actually a person who attempted to pass for black. We will come back to my feelings on that. As a child Rachel had blonde hair and looked just like your favorite white doll. She says she has always felt like was black.

The first signs of her “blackness” showed when she attended prestigious HBCU Howard University ( my middle daughter received a full ride scholarship there). She says that when asked what race she was, both white and black were selected. She went on to do quite well in college.

Rachel became an Africana Studies professor and was respected by most. She wore her hair in ethnic styles mostly worn by African -American women. She even permed her hair to obtain a curly texture that would mimic the natural hair of many black women. She was brilliant at imitating all things black, the struggle, the culture, the outward appearance.

Rachel Dolezal then made her way to one of the most respected organizations among African -American people, The NAACP.  She became the  president of the Spokane, Washington chapter.  Again she was able to fool those around her until her parents contacted the media and told her secret.

So that’s the tale of Rachel Dolezal. I have so many questions, was it not enough being Rachel? Would she rather be Rhasha? Would she rather be followed in stores? Why not just love and appreciate our culture? Go to Howard as a Caucasian woman. Express your love of our hairstyles as the white woman you are.

I can’t take off my blackness for a moment and freely operate as a white woman. I would love to be judged and evaluated by only my merit and not experience any type of racism. I don’t have that luxury. The truly sad conclusion is that Rachel could have been white and still attended Howard. Rachel could have been white and been the president of The NAACP. She could have been white and embraced our culture. African -American people are known for accepting others. We know how it feels to be shunned, disrespected, and treated poorly,which is why even though Rachel made such a misstep she will still be welcomed and forgiven.

CREED *spoiler*

CREED *spoiler*

Today I attended my second movie prescreening. I have been a Michael B. Jordan fan since he was little Wallace killed by Poot and Bodie in The Wire. I’ve been begging for more of him. He was riveting in the Oscar Grant story ;not so much in Famtasic Four,the movie itself was a dud.

This movie is about,Adonis,the son of Apollo creed. Although he never met his father,boxing was in his blood. He fought all through the foster care system and dentention centers until he fought his way into the heart of Rocky. He wanted to be trained by the same man who trained his father. 

At first he attempted to fight on his own name. He wanted to be known as Adonis not just Apollo’s son. Rocky agreed to train him and began to build on the natural talent the boy had. He fought one of the local featherweight fighters and won. 

People in the industry began to notice him. They were interested in putting fights together. Adonis’ opponent, was a fighter who was undefeated and loved by many. It seemed like Adonis would lose for sure. But Adonis had a strong will. He had the will to do his best. The will that was with him when his mother died. The power to do his best even when it looks bleak.

During the time they trained for the fight. Rocky found out he had cancer. He didn’t take the news well and decided he wouldn’t be treated with chemo. He wanted to give up and die. Adonis found this out and gave him an ultimatum you fight cancer and I will fight my opponent. We will work hard, do our best, and win! 

For the next month Rocky trained Adonis ;even at the hospital they trained. At home Adonis nursed Rocky through the sickness that chemo caused. It was the night of the big fight, everyone thought Adonis would surely lose. The only team he had was his trainers, his adopted mom, his girlfriend Bianca, and the man in the mirror. 

Adonis was hit hard. His punches were blocked. He landed some punches. He had injuries over both eyes and his left eye was closed. He was battered and bruised. He pulled every piece of fight inside of his body, all of things he had been through, his failures, his weaknesses, and everyone knowing he was the son of Apollo Creed. Team Creed  fought hard and lasted till the 12th round but lost the fight,however Adonis Creed won the night. He proved to himself and everyone else that he could hang with the lightweight champion of the world. 

I give this movie a solid B. Jordan was excellent, Stallone was solid, and the supporting cast was good. This movie showed that no matter where you come from or what you have been through you can succeed with the proper support and hard work. You may not come in first place but you can still be first!

…and then she said, “Get a Life!”

Since the tender age of 16 I have been a mother, by the age of  21 I was a married mother of three children. From that moment on my life was not my own. My life included them. They were numbers 1,2, and 3 and my needs were last. That was how it was supposed to be. I went from a teen with some many dreams and goals to a mother balancing school, warming bottles, and changing diapers.

As time went on I was able to do a few things but never at a high level. I kind of sang, I kinda wrote a book but never promoted it to full capacity, I kinda traveled a little. There wasn’t a move made without a child’s needs being paramount. As my youngest kiddo living at home left( I have a 14 yr old step baby who lives with her mom) I begin my descent into depression.

I would cry for hours. I dreaded leaving her in Columbus at Ohio State as I left for Dallas. A conversation with both of my grandmothers brought me out of my slump. Their words, ” get a life!” Travel, get back to music, act, write, get back to you. So I dropped my baby off at her dorm and she told me she was fine. I called the rest of my children and they said, “momma we are well.”

Travel I did, the Bahamas and Mexico and Paris is coming up next year. I enrolled into school. I started talking voice lessons and I’m in an upcoming play. I ride my bike. I am extremely flexible thanks to yoga and hubby and I are dating three times a week. I am still a mother, but I let them live their lives. I give them room to breathe.

I do text every day and call once a week. The Paris trip is happening because my son studies abroad in France. I can’t wait until they are here for Christmas even though my apartment I set up for two. I will always be a mother ;I’m just a mother with a thriving life. Yo Nana zip lining was last week, parasailing next time.  image

Till Divorce do you Part

image                                                                                        If you pay attention to anything in Hollywood you know that marriages and divorces occur as often as the sun rises. One moment these celebrities are in love; having a baby, and the next minute they are splitting up homes and child support is being enforced.

Some of the names that are synonymous with divorce are Zsa Zsa,Elizabeth Taylor, Halle, and J. Lo. Recently Halle ‘s ex husband David Justice said she was the problem in the marriage and that he never abused her. He said she falls in love with the men and then when she is done they are seen as horrible people. Halle’s ex husband Eric Benet agreed with Justice’s statement.

I use to think maybe Halle was crazy. She is beautiful on the outside but maybe evil on the inside. Why can’t one of the most desired women in the world stay married.

Then there is J.Lo or Jennifer Lopez. She has admitted to being in love with love and a relationship addict. Why is a woman who has so many accolades for acting and singing always married and divorced?  Why can’t this woman keep a man? Well I use to be one of the people on my soapbox as I sit with two marriages and one divorce under my belt.

How is Zsa Zsa or Elizabeth Taylor any different from me? The only difference is money. How are these ladies any different from Danielle who has had three different relationships and children from all three of them.

Is Juanita any better because she didn’t get married?  She had four relationships and four children from all of the relationships. She wanted the same things Halle wanted. She had issues within herself and there were problems with the men. At the end of the day who am I to pass judgement on any woman? Don’t we all just want to be happy? Don’t we want to raise children and if we make the wrong choice don’t we have a chance to give up and start over again?

Instead of being glued to what is happening in the world of Ms. Berry, or Ms. Lopez, how about we all strive to be better people, better mothers, and show our daughters what strength and power looks like.

So tell me a little about yourself

image                                                                                          I promise I have been on more interviews than anyone I know. I have lived in four states and had many jobs. I am always prepared for the interviews, that part I do very well. Get there early, or right on time today because the elevator had an odd and even side. Dress nicely usually blue, gray, or black( brown if the others are dirty). Be prepared to wait. And get ready for the questions.

What makes you a good fit for this position? What are your strengths and weaknesses? Tell me about a time when… And of course tell me a little about yourself. That’s the meat of the interview. You must figure out, do they want to know what your passion is? What motivates you? Or some quirky fact?

I have had all types of interviews, the conservative ones where the male interviewer goes over my resume line by line. I had an interview that was done using my iPhone. I’ve had an interview where we talked about food and shopping and I had one where I sung a song I wrote. No matter the set up, I am 97% of the time offered the job.  What is easier than telling someone about yourself. All of the good stuff of course. So… When do I start?