You don’t know HIM but my son’s Life Matters 

This is my son Tre’. He is 20. He is a junior at the University of Cincy. He speaks French, Arabic,Spanish, and Mandarin Chinese. He wants to one day work for the Govt, CIA, or FBI. He was born in a car after my mom rushed me to the hospital. He wears headphones and sometimes doesn’t hear cars coming up behind him, I told him to turn the music down. He is lazy and never makes his bed up. He use to care for an elderly lady in the neighborhood named miss Joyce. He works two jobs, chipotle and CVS. He runs a lot,to work and back 

He wasn’t running from a robbery or crime. He sold his car for money for a France trip. I taught him to read at 3 using hooked on Phonics… They don’t care, but to me his life matters.

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Introducing Ms. Hoosier

On Mother’s Day weekend my firstborn graduated from Ball State University’s teacher’s college. After all of the hard work and sacrifice that our family has made. The hours of studying Brit has done  and even the setbacks she dealt with at the university, my baby did it. She is the first in our family to finish school the traditional way. She never stopped, never gave up. She took the correct path.

I was so proud of her. As she walked across that stage all I could think of was this is my baby girl. The one who had Wilms tumor kidney cancer at age 6. She went through chemo and radiation. She came from a broken home, poverty, and domestic violence and beat all odds.

While attending school on the dean’s list, Brittany worked in a  residence hall, she discipled freshman girls, she was a leader in her Christian organization, and made time for family back at home.

My little girl, the one who helped raise her siblings. The unofficial boss will head to Houston this fall to start her teaching. I am so excited to help purchase things for her classroom. I can’t wait to see her name on the door…welcome introducing Ms. Hoosier. To me she is my Britsy boo! These future leaders will be blessed to have Ms. Hoosier the same

 way I’ve been blessed for 22 years.

My Horrible, Terrible, Secret

My Horrible, Terrible, Secret

For years people have called me high strung, or defensive, and of course I have been called crazy MANY MANY times. I often would lie and hide to cover why I didn’t make it to work for a week, or why I never made it to the party. I became so creative and would tell people a new family member had passed. Possibly a distant cousin. I once even told someone I had gone on a trip overseas.

For 20 years I lied to those closest to me. Friends I had for 10 years, people I worked with and even my own husband. Living with bipolar disorder is scary. At the age of 14 I remember feeling depressed. I attributed it to being sexually abused as a child by a close family friend. I would think of it often and felt ashamed and dirty. I told the guy I was with that I was a virgin but once he went inside of me for the first time he labeled me a liar.

I was often very defensive and angry, then I would shift to happy, upbeat and full of energy. Between the age of 19-25 I was hospitalized twice. I was placed on many medicines. Some worked and others didn’t but I would often go off of the meds as soon as I felt better.

After having three children, being married, divorced and remarried. I decided it was time to get my life together. I started with finding a medicine that worked, taking the right meds, the right dose, at the right time was key. I then started an intensive therapy program that worked. I began incorporating exercise, eating healthy, getting plenty of rest, and attending bipolar support groups.

The last piece was making amends. Asking those I had hurt for forgiveness, being honest with those I lied to, and forgiving others. I have lost some friends. Some people are scared of mental illness. Some walking around with it are doing drugs and drinking. Others rallied behind me. I always have my mom and dad. My husband, Mikel. I have my Uncles, Aunts, and of course my children who are my purpose. I also have great friends new and old.

What I have realized is, this is not such a terrible, horrible,secret. It is my truth and with proper self care I can live with bipolar depression and not DIE! I am a writer, a demo vocalist, a social worker in the making, a mom, a women’s health worker, a wife, and my WILL is stronger than bipolar disorder.

*For info on living with bipolar disorder contact NAMI*rha los colinas