When many of us are asked about our heroes, we often speak of world leaders, entertainers, or sports figures. Some mention family members, I am of that group. I am not saying it to be nice or to be cliché, it is a fact. My hero is my mother,mommy, momma. Her other titles, are Gammy, sister,friend,daughter, and for years she was a supportive coworker.
My earliest memories of my mom are her taking me to Flanner House PreK. She would drop me off in the morning and I would almost knock her down in the evening when she would arrive. I remember her always, and I mean always working for the state of Indiana. She wore dresses with a belt and stockings and dress shoes. Her and my dad divorced when I was 2 so it was me and Mom Monday through Friday and I would chill with my Dad every other weekend.
Sunday’s we would always go to church. First we attended a baptist church and then a Disciples of Christ church. Momma always told me how important having faith was. I could tell she had a lot of faith because she never seemed to worry. She never worried when our cars broke down. Once we had a raggedy landlord and we moved very quickly and she didn’t seem to worry. She just made a plan and said, “ Well Rocky we have to find a better place, and I want to find a good school for you.” I acted a fool in those schools. I started having emotional problems and issues with depression.
I didn’t know it then, but I now see that my mom went into action mode and prayer mode. She talked to Pastors at our church, she talked to doctors and she checked me into a hospital to see if they could help me. She tried to get me to talk to her about what was going on. I wouldn’t reveal what was wrong.
Over the next ten years, I had three children, got married, my daughter was diagnosed with cancer I was divorced, and went into the darkest depression of my life. Mom was there, praying for me, taking care of me, feeding me,playing music to soothe me. She would get me out of the house even when I didn’t want to go. Once she told me we were going on a ride and we ended up at Kings Island. I looked a hot boiling mess. She helped to get me and my children away from my abusive ex husband.
During times when I couldn’t care for my children, wouldn’t care for my basic needs nor theirs. She was there to pick up my slack. She attended parent teacher conferences, took the kids to the symphony, summer day camp,church, and carnivals. She made sure they didn’t go without due to my being absent.
Recently I was remarried and moved away, taking my children away from my mom. When I tell you this grandmother wouldn’t allow the bond with her grands to be broken. She would still be present at band concerts, basketball games, and awards programs. It was nothing for her to come on a Friday and surprise my babies. She drove all the way to Atlanta many times when we lived there so it was nothing coming to Columbus.
My mother recently retired from the State of Indiana after almost 40 years. I saw her work for many different departments and from idiot supervisor to another even stupider one. She never quit or gave up. She always said, “ I have to take care of Rhasha.” I don’t know if I would have done the same if the tables were turned. We may have been homeless.For the record she did have some cool supervisors, maybe three I can remember.
My mom doesn’t rattle easy. She dismisses mess and doesn’t deal in bullshit. If there is drama around, my mom is on the other side of the room… And then God gave her me as daughter. I have seen her in many tough situations, from the loss of her father to her daughter in a hospital on the suicide watch ward, she is calm, quiet,praying and having that faith. I’m still watching, still admiring, still proud.
The best moments with my hero are laying on her bed talking and laughing. Mommy is so funny. She makes up names for people according to what they do and how they act. The things we talk about I can’t reveal here, too many inside jokes. My mom has shown me how to love children. I saw her do it for half of her career working in adoption. She showed me how to grind and work hard even when you want to quit and she still shows me how to have faith.
When she retired she did it like a boss. “ Rhasha I am done. I can’t do it no more.” No regrets, no stammering or stuttering. I can’t wait to see what my hero does next…. Whatever it is.. I have her back.