I wanted to do something fun this time. No heavy blog about mental health or family and relationships. This will make you laugh and I promise these incidents are 100% true. Let’s goooooooo.
1. I don’t know how to make a traditional cup of coffee. Whenever I encounter a coffee pot I either google the brand and model, read the directions before breaking the machine or making the grittiest pot of coffee ever.* I do know how to operate the new Keurig versions.
2. I have broken 3 copiers…yeah I don’t know how to work those either. See #1 if you want to know how I deal with them. It starts real casual, ” Rhasha can you copy those demographic forms and throw them in a file folder.” I walk over to the copier. I look at it; it looks at me. I put the papers in face down. Now this is when the BS starts. The machine blinks, out of paper, out of ink or just plain out of it. One time I hit the wrong button and 97 pages attempted to print out. I ended up unplugging the whole damn thing, looking both ways and walking away.
3. I fall…a lot. Once after a first date, I was walking away from the guy’s car and fell right on my ass. He tried to be nice and asked if I was alright. I quickly ran inside and almost died from embarrassment.Another time I fell on the way into church. My church shoes flew from up under me and splat I hit the ground. So I try to walk slowly, take time when wearing heels and allow my hand to be held if possible.
4. People think I’m cool, but I’m super awkward. When I become nervous in any situation I pick up my phone and pretend to talk on it. If I’m around a group of people I do know and there is a silent moment I become nervous and start to act weird. I will bring up a random conversation about absolutely nothing.
5. I can’t bake for crap. When I was younger my stepmother and grandmother tried to teach me. In my teens I tried to bake a cake from scratch and it tasted like dry stale bread. When I got married I tried to make homemade cornbread which tasted worse than the cake. So now I stick with rolls of ready to bake cookies and boxed cake mix. Now in my 40s I’m gonna take another stab at baking…anyone want to be my test rat? After that I will make you a nice cup of coffee and run off some copies of my favorite recipes.